.xxx Extension Blocked and the World is a Safer Place

Today, the US Department of Commerce has blocked the ICANN application for the .xxx extension. This is fantastic news for both:
1. People who own adult websites and
2. People who like to masturbate
So, basically it’s great news for a full 90% of us (the other 10% are, of course, lying).

The .xxx TLD would certainly have been the first step towards segregating sex on the Internet so that governments could eventually force the ISPs and search engines to block it. Eventually, we’d be lucky if we could even catch a Jessica Alba Nipple shot.

Fortunately, there are signs that our government still works (for those of us who can afford to buy it). The day that these self-righteous, censoring, “I’m-gonna-tell-you-and everyone-else-how-to-live-their-lives” asshats win out over our slimey, check-wielding, pocket greasing, lobbyists will be a sad, sad day indeed.

What would the Internet be today without porn? Nothing. It wouldn’t even exist!

ARPNET was only invented so some pocket-protector-wearing, sexually frustrated, tech geeks at the DOD could figure could figure out how to send ASCII babes like this back and forth to each other. Before that, there was just no interest in the project.

Why did the early adopters first start using the Net? Porn

What is the only plausible explanation for mainstream adoption of the Web? Porn.

Why will one day everyone in the world have Internet access? To get Porn!

Just last century, without Internet porn we had 2 World Wars, a Holocaust, and Missile Crisis that threatened to destroy the whole planet. Do you really want to return to a messed up world like that?!? The .XXX extension was certainly the first step towards our society coming apart at the seams and destroying itself.

What the hell do we have to worry about today? Global freaking warming? they should call it Global Yawning. The only strife and trouble in this world is coming from countries that do not yet have enough people looking at Internet Porn. In those countries, we see attempts at terrorism, Jihads and genocide. Why? Because they’re so damn sexually frustrated!

Today, I’m proud to be an American. By slapping ICANN back into its place, today our government has protected our porn, protected our freedom, and made the world a safer place.

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7 Responses to “.xxx Extension Blocked and the World is a Safer Place”

  1. Awesomely, Awesomely aweseome! I would have dreaded to see .xxx, the internet would have died for sure.

  2. qwer12 says:

    hehe dude love your posts 😀

  3. […] The internet is for porn – .xxx domain blocked “What would the Internet be today without porn? Nothing. It wouldn’t even exist! ARPNET was only invented so some pocket-protector-wearing, sexually frustrated, tech geeks at the DOD could figure could figure out how to send ASCII babes like this back and forth to each other. Before that, there was just no interest in the project.” […]

  4. rob says:

    absolutely hilarious.

  5. lol says:

    Hey Maddox, i didnt know you were writing for seoblackhat.com!

  6. DailyXXXBlog says:

    As an owner of many adult sites I can tell you that the adult webmaster community is overjoyed by this.Let`s see how long this lasts since we have a bad precedent with the previous 2257 laws.
    I hope this gets shot down once and for all.

  7. juncabala says:

    Nice Post!!! Froid would agree 100% with you as well 🙂