Aqui! Los Zapatos! Porra!

I’ll be traveling for about the next 2 weeks back to Brazil where I am going to get married to my Brazilian fiancée, Patricia. Here she is:

Patricia On Top of a Mountain

Patricia with a Parrot

Patricia in by a waterfall in a Colombian Cave

Last Friday Patricia was out with a girl she had met here in Colombia. They had left a party at around 10:15 pm and went down the street to catch a taxi when, suddenly, a man grabbed her from behind around the neck.

He reached into her right pocket and took the 50,000 pesos. He said he wanted her “Zapatos” (Nike tennis shoes) and then felt the digital camera in the other pocket and told her to get it out. Whenever we carry the camera around, we always use the band to tie it to our belt loops before putting it into our pockets.

Meanwhile, the other girl is just standing there about 8 feet in front of them. So Patricia looks at the girl, unties the knot slowly, gets the camera out and tosses it to the other girl!

The other girl catches the camera and runs off.

On the back swing she elbows the guy full force in the stomach. The mugger releases her and is slightly buckled over.

Patricia turns around quickly to make sure the guy does not have a gun or a knife (and to make sure he’s not reaching for one in his pockets).

When she sees that he is unarmed, she sweeps his legs and sends him to the ground. She then kicks him as hard as she can 4 times in the head while shouting “Aqui! Los Zapatos! Porra!” (Here! The sneakers! Bitch!)

At that point a taxi pulls up, so she jumps in and tells the driver to take off.

When she gets back to the apartment, she’s of course shaken up, has a slight abrasion on her neck where she was grabbed, and is actually apologizing for loosing the 50,000 pesos ($23)! Like I give a crap about anything except her being OK.

Unfortunately, the other girl who has the camera refuses to answer her phone. We don’t know where she lives. A $400 camera (probably more here in Colombia) was apparently too much of a temptation for her to keep.

Patricia is from a very poor but honest family. You would not believe how upset she is about having lost the camera. Saying things like “I’m Sorry”, “I hope you still trust me,” and “I didn’t know this girl would keep the camera.”

I told her that losing the camera was not important. All that matters is that she is safe and unharmed. Then I told her that loosing the camera would not even cost us anything. I said, “If I publish what happened on my website, you’ll get all the money back for the camera . . . probably more.”

Was I right? Let’s see. If you want to donate directly to the “Zapatos Relief Fund,” a paypal donation can be taken: see the bottom of the sidebar donation button.

Update: She got the camera – Thank you everyone.

Both comments and pings are currently closed.

18 Responses to “Aqui! Los Zapatos! Porra!”

  1. FreeAgent says:

    What a perfect catch, congrats!

    Does she have any sisters?

  2. QuadsZilla says:

    Just one sister, 20 years older, and married.

  3. jerome says:

    congrats, shes lovely

  4. PUA Forum says:

    Congrats Quad, nice catch! I see you’ve been picking-up tips from my forum:

    Don’t forget to post pictures of all the female guests at the wedding reception – just kidding [NOT!].

  5. volatilegx says:

    Great story, QuadsZilla. I’ll donate a portion of my poker winnings 😉

  6. rxbbx says:

    congrats.. and nice girlfriend.. i see you have taste. a pitty you live that far.. otherwise we could drink something together with our Girls.. 🙂

  7. LaMystique says:

    Congrats!!! Yes she is very pretty, she’s much braver than I am.

  8. Sniper says:

    Have you considered that it might have been a setup? Did this girl suggest the location to catch the cab?

  9. ket says:

    “She then kicks him as hard as she can 4 times in the head” – that’s Brazilian style, good job!

    Sniper has a point about the the possibility of being a setup…

  10. Dan the Automator says:

    Did any of you guys consider that Quadzilla is pulling your leg?

  11. QuadsZilla says:

    I thought about it being a setup because both the assaliant and the “friend” were about the same age (19ish). Plus she did reccommend both the bar and the taxi. However, patricia said she didn’t see her talk to anyone at the bar so it would have had to have been done well before hand. It’s certaily possiable.


    That’s funny cuz one of my best friends said the same thing! This one actually isn’t written in such a way to get links, though, nor did we submit it and pump it. I’m certainly not saying I wouldn’t make something like this up, but this one happens to be true. It wouldn’t be my style to ask for donations for a fake cause.

  12. Sniper says:

    “Aqui! Los Zapatos! Porra!”

    And oh yeah… this is freakin’ hilarious. I’ll have to teach my wife the same. 😉

  13. Hawaii SEO says:

    Good catch! Congratulations!

    Any plans on leaving Columbia any time soon? I guess it’s better than living in a war zone but there are a lot of peaceful, cheap & beautiful places in the world that have a lot less in the way a crime supported economy, terrorism & kidnappings, etc.

    I’m a fairly adventurous person but I don’t have plan on visiting Columbia, Cambodia or central Africa any time soon.

  14. Frakkle says:

    For Patricia

    I almost forgot about this.

    Go here
    for a story that is not related to BH SEO at all.  If you don’t
    feel like donating, at least you have had the chance to read a very
    good story about a sp…

  15. rizla says:

    Best of Luck, she’s adorable!

  16. […] You too can get a great chick like I have. Here’s how in wordpress: Just make an archives.php template that includes this function: […]

  17. marifer says:

    Dude, where in Colombia are you? I am from Colombia and took my gringo husband and my in-laws to Cartagena for 2 weeks and never, ever had a problem! And if you are still in Colombia and want to do the romantic thing, go to and if you are staying ’til February, take her to Carnaval:

  18. […] On September 27th, or a little before then, I’ll be traveling to Amsterdam for the Webmaster Access Show with my wife. […]