e-Book Review: Adsense Empire – Sucks!

I remember hearing once that you can get at least something of value out of most books. Whoever said that clearly never had his hard drive infected by the “e-book” Google Adsense Handbook – Building your own Adsense Empire.

Reading Adsense Empire is like taking a long bus ride sitting next to someone who bathed in sh¡t – it’s not just bad, it’s repugnant and offensive. Even the most devout masochist would undoubtedly find the torture of reading this ebook unbearable.

**** Warning ****

The following quoted passages on search engine optimization may cause nausea, vomiting, your eyes to bleed or your head to assplode:

Spiders Like:

  • Neat code: less lines of code than lines of text (or more lines of text than lines of codes.)
  • Normal keyword densities of 3-7%.
  • Lots of backlinks on pages that link back to your home page.  (Top sites have an average of 300 backlinks.)
  • Original content not found anywhere else.

Spiders do not like:

  • More lines of code than text.
  • “Doorway pages” that act as a portal and which just happen to have super-high keyword densities.
  • Too many backlinks to your home page from within your domain.
  • Lots of dynamic URLs that cause a site to take forever to download

Yup, that about covers everything one needs to know about Search Engine Optimization. In fact, I think you’re just about ready to make $200k a year running the SEO Scam.

The rest of the book is almost entirely affiliate links and poorly worded product-sell pages. The “Making Money with Adsense” tips at the end include such gems as:

“Tip #2: Make content pages for your site — and put AdWords on them”

and

“Tip #4: You want to make new pages with higher paying keywords (while keeping it real and releveant(sic)) “

This book cost me a lot. I don’t mean by buying it – I didn’t buy it. I don’t mean the hour of my life that I will never get back; the one that is gone forever and will scar my psyche like a Catholic Priest does a 9-year old boy. I mean it cost me money because I had to take action against the Adsense Empire file that resided on my hard drive and against the laptop that did not know better than to expose me to it.

It was not enough to just delete the Adsense Empire file, reformat and scrub my hard drive 7 times. Such trivial precautions are reserved for less malicious files like the Chernobyl or Melissa Virus. Further action was required:

If this book succeeds on one front it is through omission. The one wise thing the author did was neglect to sign his name – we’ll give him points for that: 2 points. As for the other 16,287 words, well . . .they at least serve to reinforce the axiom that “it is better to keep quiet and have people think you’re stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

Ebooks like Adsense Empire that pose as a Google Adsense Handbook spread misinformation by uninformed, self-proclaimed-experts while devaluing people’s willingness to pay for worthwile ebooks and consulting services. Blights like this must be vetted to protect the integrity of the legitimate information marketplace.

Would I recommend the Adsense Empire ebook? I would sooner send a friend a Ebola coated CD that executes root delete on boot and post Sh¡zer videos of his grandmother than willingly expose him to this abomination.

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10 Responses to “e-Book Review: Adsense Empire – Sucks!”

  1. x2727 says:

    “Reading Adsense Empire is like taking a long bus ride sitting next to someone who bathed in shit”

    LMAO. It’s happened to me many times. It’s seems like there’s always one on every bus….. at least in San Francisco, that is…

  2. copyblogger says:

    Man, I like your style. 🙂

  3. jsirovic says:

    Wow — maybe I should be scared if you review a book I write 🙂

  4. Jacobjac says:

    That review was better than sex 🙂

  5. rollinj says:

    Absolutely hilarious Quads, made my morning 🙂

  6. nnet says:

    hilarious.

  7. yolkie says:

    LoL, great post! :p

  8. Tiziana says:

    So you didn`t like it? 😉

  9. […] Some Adsense books receive good reviews. Others receive less-than-favourable reviews. Whilst other books receive reviews on a whole ‘nother level enitirely: “Would I recommend the Adsense Empire ebook? I would sooner send a friend a Ebola coated CD that executes root delete on boot and post Sh¡zer videos of his grandmother than willingly expose him to this abomination“ […]

  10. joshuayip says:

    I was really considering on buying that, since there has been so much hype about it. Now… no more I guess. Anyway thanks for saving my dollars!