Google Images Labeler Proves Most People are Fucktards

Today, Google launched Google Images Labeler, a game with this description:

You’ll be randomly paired with a partner who’s online and using the feature. Over a 90-second period, you and your partner will be shown the same set of images and asked to provide as many labels as possible to describe each image you see. When your label matches your partner’s label, you’ll earn some points and move on to the next image until time runs out. After time expires, you can explore the images you’ve seen and the websites where those images were found. And we’ll show you the points you’ve earned throughout the session.

 

What the description should say is this:

You’ll be paired with a brain dead and partially blind fucktard who can’t spell or type. Over a 90-second period, you will loose all faith in humanity and have a homicidal rage build inside you to the point where you think that Jeffrey Dahmer might have been on to something. When you finally debase your mind to think how your opponent thinks, you may be allowed to look at the next image. After time expires, if you have not thrown your computer out your window or succeeded in committing suicide, you may continue to torture yourself by playing again

 

Don’t believe me? Let’s walk through a typical game . . .

You press start and this picture comes on the screen:

So you quickly bang out “candle”, “white candle”, “flame”, “fire”, “dark”, “wax” and “glow” in the first 4 seconds. The clock has counted down from 1:30 to 1:21 and your partner has entered one label that matches none of yours. Finally at 1:15 he puts in “candle” (100 points) and the next image appears:

You type “child”, “girl”, “young”, “cute”, “adorable”, “blonde”, “smirk”, “smile”. The donkey has typed 9 labels and none match. You press pass and when the clock counts down to 1:00 and he passes too. What the hell was that idiot typing?!? Ears? Marble? . . . Sexy!?! The next image pops up:

So you type in “Tom Cruise”. Mr. Asshat has one label. Instinctively, you know that he can’t spell “cruise” and type “tom cruze” for a quick match and you’re down to 0:55 with 200 points:

You type “disco”, “party”, “nightclub”, “bar”, “purple” . . . Your tormentor waits 5 seconds and wants to pass. WTF? Is that really that hard? Whatever, this next one will be easy:

You feverishly type “Beach”, “Sunset”, “Beach Sunset” and pause for a sec, the clock now reads 0:35. That fucktard has typed 2 labels. So you scramble to bang out “ocean”, “clouds”, “sun”, “skyline”, “waves”, “wave”, “reflection”, “running” . . . meanwhile that waste of oxygen on the other keyboard is up to 3 now and the clock reads 0:25. You type “runner”, “water”, “yellow”, and finally have a match with “orange” at 0:21.

At this point you want to reach through the screen and slap the shit out of that loser. “Orange”? Are you fucking kidding me? Who the hell looks at that picture and says “Orange is the best way to describe this one”. How is that going to help anyone? It’s a picture of a Beach Sunset and says BEACH SUNSET on it. And what the hell were his other 3 labels?!? But no time to think about that now, this image has just loaded on the screen with 20 seconds to go:

So you quickly type “railway”, “tracks”, “rail tracks”, “train tracks”, “train”, “rail”, “rails”, “tracks”. He has 4 labels . . . the clock is down to :08. You type “building”, “skyline”, “gloomy” . . . the clock says :02 and you type “I wanna kill that douchebag!” BUZZZZ time’s up. You scored a total of 300 points with your “partner”.

Your girlfriend asks you “what wrong?” as you are holding a fist full of your own hair in each hand.

Wanna play again?

Tagged: Funny, Link Bait

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