Auto Complaint Generator: Comment Spammers

The Complaint letter Generator can be used to create ramblings complaints about anything. These complaints, and ones like them, are making the rounds and will soon be in a comment spam near you. Because, well . . .

Unless you want to accumulate a long list of examples of Comment Spammers’s acts of corruption and depredation, this letter may become a bit monotonous. However, I unmistakably do hope you read it all the way through because Comment Spammers, who has posed as Savior of the World, is nothing else but the world’s seducer, its destroyer, its incendiary, and its executioner. What follows is a call to action for those of us who care — a large enough number to make a genuine contribution to human society. I frequently talk about how Comment Spammers’s pranks are precisely the kind of thing that will give lunatics control of the asylum by next weekend. I would drop the subject except that it says that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. That’s a stupid thing to say. It’s like saying that diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors.

I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how the point at which you discover that whenever a will-o’-the-wisp of Chekism, however unreal, turns up anywhere, Comment Spammers is off at a trot is not only a moment of disenchantment. It is a moment of resolve, a determination that no one has a higher opinion of it than I, and I think it’s a bleeding-heart hotheaded-type. If Comment Spammers thinks that divine ichor flows through its veins, then it’s sadly mistaken. When was the last time you heard Comment Spammers mention that its animadversions are merely a sideshow exhibit in the circus of narcissism? Probably never. That’s why if you read its writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that Bulverism forms the core of any utopian society. But if you read Comment Spammers’s writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it’s clear that as long as the beer keeps flowing and the paychecks keep coming, its shills don’t really care that it is entirely gung-ho about obstructionism because it lacks more pressing soapbox issues.

By comparing today to even ten years ago and projecting the course we’re on, I’d say we’re in for an even more unsympathetic, insensitive, and feebleminded society, all thanks to Comment Spammers’s half-measures. Well, sure; Comment Spammers’s crotchets are a masterpiece of uneducated classism, but that doesn’t change reality. It’s easy for us to shake our heads at Comment Spammers’s foolishness and cowardice. It’s easy for us to exclaim that we should straighten out Comment Spammers’s thinking. It’s easy for us to say, “Comment Spammers’s subliminal psywar campaigns are a vehicle for the expression of prejudice, ignorance, and enmity about people who are different from Comment Spammers.” The point is that it’s easy for us to say these things because Comment Spammers’s reason is not true reason. It does not seek the truth but only neo-damnable answers, prolix resolutions to conflicts. Lastly, I can’t end this letter without mentioning that we ought to teach Comment Spammers a lesson.

Works pretty well: but the word letter may have to be changed to “comment”.

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2 Responses to “Auto Complaint Generator: Comment Spammers”

  1. reyalP says:

    I’m using that complaint generator to annoy the hell out of our gas company until they give-in to our demands and waive the $55 fee we owe them.

    Thanks!

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